Category: Let's talk
Ok, so I assume people know what real world is, grab a bunch of people, have them live in a house together, and do something like start a business. Well they pick people who will cause the most drama and not get along together. Lets increase the cast size from 7 to 10 and pick only zone members. Who would you pick and why? I'll post my list later.
lutherk since he's a zone ladies man.
Shark since him and lutherk can fight over the zone women like dogs fighting over a scrap of meat.
Loanstar since she's already slept with several zone men time to add more zone women to the list.
Selena fan needs to see the real world, and learn about topics such as drugs, sex, and sin from the wonderful teachers we have on the zone.
Queen lionless liz needs to get a chance to meet the zone boys in real life who she's phone boned.
Passionate and natural artist because every house needs a mizrable bitch.
Baby Girl_16 since every house needs it's minor.
Blackbird so he can hit on babygirl_16 since she meets his age limit of under 18.
guitargod1 sso he can get more then just audio from Queen Lioness Liz.
Wildebrew after all he has a good paying job, and the house needs someone to bay for all the boos, drugs, birth control, and std treatments since the rest of them don't work.
gee, my gosh jared, you sure like to start drama, but I have to admit, that list was very clever! well done! :) Lol :)
Thank you for including me on your list Jared. I can't believe you included me. Come on Jared I don't argue with people. So I've been sheltered and I know I'm inmature so sue me. I know I need to grow up.
Lol...
hmmmm
I'm not sure who i'd put on a list though, but i think a mixture of the intelligent and the stupid would make for good drama.
I'm not going to name names, but I agree with Louie, a mix of intelligent and stupid would make for good drama. Also a mixture of the very offensive and those who are extremely easily offended.
Jared, I'm having a hard time finding issues with your list. lol. Nice work. And becky, agreed.
CLICK
Rofl jared, though there are a few around here who go for under 16, let alone under 18. and considering 16 is legal age here, I don't mind if they are under 18, as long as they are legal. lol
what! a! surprise! hope! didn't! put! one! exclamation! point! in! her! post!
hahahahahaha! to the last poster
Well, firstly I must admit to never having seen the show in question, however, I shall attempt a list. I have been told that the idea of such a house is for the people not only to coexist together, but also to form some kind of business. I shall proceed therefore on that assumption and my apologies in advance if this isn't the case.
Warning: The following contains highly explicit material. Don't bother reading if you're easily offended, because that you will be offended, there is little doubt.
1.
The business in mind my first selection is Kai AKA wraith. In a World where women need vibrators, vibrators clearly need wraith. He deserves to be at the very epicenter of the female pleasuring industry. He's absolutely perfect for the roll, a top class example of what can be achieved when startling originality and boundless creativity meet with an unhealthy obsession with rubberized instruments of orgasm in the same cranial cavity. I can see it now Kai, your Mother would be full of pride, the brand new toy fresh off the production line. Goodness Daniel, you've already plunged the depths of tastelessness and this is house member number one.
2.
House member number 2 simply has to be Pipi. All good products need to be road tested before distribution to the World at large and what better a tester can there be out there? As anybody who has spent any length of time with Pipi on either the phone system or Ventrilo will attest, she is constantly pursued by a persistent humming sound all day long which she claims is some kind of lamp that interferes with her microphone, but which we all really know is actually her remarkably battery efficient tool of tantalization working tirelessly from dawn to dusk and back to dawn again. Then dusk again, then dawn, then... You get the idea.
3.
Blackbird Kevin. I think that Kevin's inclusion to the group is a must from a business sense. It is a well known fact that all businesses have a hard time as they try to become established in their market place of choice and what all good businesses need aside from a wonderfully creative mind such as Kai's, is an expert, and disturbing as this is to say, I can think of no human being that I've ever met that knows more about Penis's than Kevin. I'm not sure why exactly it might ever be useful to know that Wales have 15 foot long cocks, or that there's a duck in Argentina that has the proportionally largest cock compared to it's overall body mass of any species, but in a World where one should always be prepared, Kevin could unquestionably be the preparation H needed for the Hemorrhoids on Kai's business backside.
4.
thom3of5. I see Thom as having a duel purpose within the house. Firstly any human being who genuinely believes himself to be the 3rd Thom in a string of 5 clearly is going to make financial reports worth reading. My take in life has always been that if you're not going to understand something, you may as well be entertained by it. Take as a random example of this say, anything that has ever been written by single&available. I mean granted the numbers might not always add up, or do add up but only in such ways as to make the burgeoning business appear as though it's dramatically and irreversibly in debt to the power of ten, but at least you get a giggle from the report, and that has to count for something, right? I also can't help but think that Thom would make an amusing trixtor within the confines of the house. He could pose in dark corners as improbable objects such as potted plants, or some kind of discolored water feature perhaps, and speak to people occasionally in an exceptionally queer voice. Oh the hilarity!
5.
hisenthusiasticlova. Known by her friends as Michelle, known by everybody else as, "dat feuked up chick what puts freaky questionnaires on the boards", she perfectly fits the bill as the business's social scientist. It isn't enough in the 21st century to know what people do, we now need to know why they do it and there's no better at asking just the right brand of probing, insightful question than our self-nipple sucking leviathan of this particular branch of the sciences. Did you all spot the oblique reference there? That's right, she can also suck her own nipples so surely has to be good for some light after dinner floor shows too. Not only can she offer illuminating comments on what people want and why they want it, but she can do it with a mouthful of mammary and surely that type of thing would have to enliven even the dullest of households.
To be continued.
6.
Maddog. I'm a staunch believer in animal rights and certainly wouldn't wish to see any of Kai's offerings to the World be tested on animals first in order to make sure that they're safe for human use, so I here by enter into my fictitious house the Zone's very own animal rights activist, Ather. As he recently stated in an interview with camel hourly, a middle eastern publication with a surprisingly large following apparently, "No animal should ever be defiled with man made implements of pleasure. This is something in which I firmly believe, and I'm always firm where animals are concerned. mmm..." No, I too have no idea what the "mmm" part was all about either. I did ask Ather the other day though and he told me that it is Arabian for carrot, or any route vegetable of ones choice if carrots aren't available.
7.
The Roman Battle Mask. Some times a good idea is enough to get a business off the ground. However this isn't always the case and if all else should fail, Jared is quite capable of offering a depraved alternative. Eye-socket vibrators. Now many people may well be under the misguided impression that such a thing could never catch on but all that proves is that many people have never attended an NFB convention. Good ideas routinely fail at these things while utterly ludicrous alternatives are embraced as saviors of blindkind. It's no leap of assumption to know that what people with brains may consider dreadful ideas, will be greeted with open arms by the folks over at the NFB so eye-socket vibrators might well prove to be the helping hand up the rope ladder of success.
8.
LibraLady.It is said that behind every good man is a better woman. In the absence of any better women though I put miss Becky into the house. I don't have any especially good reason for this other than a slightly sadistic wish to watch her fending off the unwanted advances of Jared. She might be useful for some menial tasks though. Cooking, cleaning, that sort of thing. She is of low intellect so nothing overly taxing should be put upon her obviously. Give her a toilet brush, an eye-socket vibrator and she'll happily go about her business all day long bothering nobody. She'll be the picture of domesticity in a house that her aside, is almost certain to become a slum pit.
9.
Lieutenant Commander La Forge. The key to success for any recently formed wave of a business is marketing, and what better man to have at the helm of the good ship promo, than a Homo? More gregarious than an attention starved teenager, more flamboyant than a rutting peacock during the height of mating season, Aaron would be the ideal face for Kai's shuddering sex toys. After all, gay men need pleasuring too and what better portal to show off these remarkable supercharged champions than Aaron's salivating ass cavity. He has a multi-pitched voice which can be altered to suit any given situation, plus a turn a phrase and knowledge of indecent acts not known since catholic priesthood went out of fashion. He'd be worth his weight in gold to the company, so long as he weighed no more than 3 pounds, wet.
10
download87. I must confess that I'm putting this Zoner into the house for no better reason than cowardice. Consider her inclusion as my recourse to mental solace in case my cunningly constructed personnel package fails to deliver the goods. At least I'll be able to sleep sound in the knowledge that I did my bit for water conservation.
Disclaimer:
None of the above is in any way intended to cause genuine offense so I hope that it was read in that spirit. In short, for those who rarely cotton onto these things, It's! A! Joke! With that, let the house doors open.
Dan.
roflmao Dan, just roflmao. Well I guess I'll go do some cooking and cleaning now and get my eye sockets ready for Jared. Only trouble is, I still have my own eyes.
Holy shit! That's all I can say.
They say that timing is everything, and now is a good time to post my board topic called "Harp should be bannded from the zone".
I think I know ten supporters I can count on from the outset.
Damn Harp, that was great.
Bob
Dan, that's fucking priceless, though while you may have done your bit for water conservation, you've done worse for the Ozone due to the amounts of ai-freshener we'll need to use. lmao
Oh, fucking A! Not sure I could top Dan, not sure I want to try.If I do, it will take a lot of damn hard thinking. Hahahahahahahahahaha.
To be continued...maybe?
Lol dan! just...lol!
hey there. Dan I love it. However, why would you have a stank ass hoe like her in the house. She does not know the meaning of the bath tub. and I am sorry, gay or not. I refuse to live with a human that smells like an animal. smirk. I like the list over all. Loved it!
Lmao! Dan, that was fabulous. Thanks for the amusement.
hahahahahahahaha dan!
Dan, you're right up there with Jonathan Swift, who has long been one of my heroes.
And here I was kidding when I proclaimed Dan to be "just that smarter than the rest of us" in a recent board posting.
rofl, fucking great job! Oh, and consider my sockets happily donated for testing.
lol, i'm sure jared will love that...
Dan, you've just proven your a smart man. Now if your going to waste space in America you can at least go out and get a job as a greeter at Walmart.
These are all in fun, I decided to be brave and try it. LOL!
1. Roman Battle Mask: Every house needs the guy jerk enough to say what's on his mind, no matter hao badly it pisses people off.
2. Meka: the center of logic and reason, no matter how honest she has to be.
3. Pipi, the girl in the house with the rep. LOL!
4. Me, because I'm such a nerd.
5. Shark: the chick magnet/womanizer.
6. Brandi H: the wild southern woman.
7. Ashes2Ashez: the house party chick.
8. The Scorpion of Death: the house jock.
9. Gizmo bear: the house's resident drug user. LOL!
10. Who'surdaddy? The house news/sports junkie who happens to be addicted to sex. LOL!
i learned today just how messed up and disturbed dan truly is. hehehe
and alan what rep would this be that i have?
Lol Dan and Alan glad I didn't make it on to either of your lists. Yeah Chelsea no exclamation points. What do you think of that?
Wow Dan, just...wow! That was brilliant and definitely highly amusing. I couldn't have picked a better list if I'd tried.
The Giggling Cowboy, to quote my old friend Lloyd Benson sort of:
"I knew Dan Harp.
Dan Harp was a friend of mine,
You, sir, are no Dan Harp."
No offense intended, just couldn't pass up the quote from Lloyd Benson.
Bob
Lovely list, Dan. Very thorough, and I know a lotof those guys. I could just picture it.
Blbobby,
Wasn't trying to be Dan. I was only out to be myself. LOL! No offense taken since my goal was not to be Dan. Let Dan be Dan and this cowboy be this cowboy. hahahahhahahaha.
Dan,
I applaud you on your list. On behalf of myself and the other Thoms, your list get 3of 5 votes as the best post of the month.
1. Lieutenant Commander La Forge
2. miss pink boy
3. brian 33
4. black bird
5. single and available
6. flying pheonix
7. spivey
8. lutherk
9. the lord your god
10. killroy
To the person who has Mother Teresa in their tag, I look up to Mother Teresa. She did a lot for the Christian Catholic faith. Wow Pipi your list just included men no women at all.
Well, pipi, your list means nothing as you give no reasons for any of it, though I personally think myself and Aaron stick out as not really suiting the rest of that group, but please bring forth your reasoning and I'll concede to your better judgement.
Pipi, first of all, no girls? what's up with that? I guess I should be a little happy!!! I made a list wow!
Right. Here I go. This is all cast by archetypes, so direct all flames to the private mailbox.
1. Cousin Cap. Every house needs a spoiled, entitled, sheltered, self-absorbed young-un.
2. Black Bird. The resident blunt and usually offensive jackass who is nonetheless partially correct.
3. Shark. The woman-chasing man-whore. Possibly bi-curious, which could make for some interesting, drunken hookups.
4. Lieutenant Commander LaForge. Who doesn't love a gay man on any reality show? And this is the most flamboyant, effeminate, opinionated one I've ever seen... He's perfect. We'll love to hate him, and snark along with his comments privately.
5. Selena Fan. To oppose the gay man, we have the Christian and/or prudish chick. Could also double as the sheltered, self-involved one of the house.
6. Dcbahr. Nerd with more than slight anger/depression issues... always an interesting story arc to be found here. He provides the needed intellectual counterpoint, though not the stability for a lasting relationship, except if said relationship involves someone equally wacked out.
7. Wildebrew. The father figure with a hilariously screwy center.
8. Susanne. Den mother... haven't any of you ever seen the Surreal life? She provides the emotional viewpoint to balance Wildebrew's logical stance on most issues, and together, they can solve most of the problems of this bunch.
9. Galileo. There's always a feminist on these sorts of shows. If not openly so, she's nevertheless a strong, well-principled, outspoken female character, meant to contrast with the shallow, less stable ones who habitually talk out their asses.
10. Skittles Freak. Obviously, the resident needy, gossipy, I-Have-ten-problems-and-a-new-boyfriend-every-hour sort. All we need is to throw in a little alcohol, and watch the passion errupt.
9.
Erupt, rather. And are we sure there can be only ten castmates?
actually, I think that's the best mix so far, maybe even better than Dan's
hmmmm, can i pass? lol....
not sure it'sa list i'd wanna hang with...but hey. some of you are ok.
If we're lucky, Harp's and Cousin Cap's shows will be on separate channels and we can tape one and watch the other.
Video description would be provided by zone icon left overs.
Bob
Thanks Julia, not a bad cast, even if I'd rather not share with more than half that crowd. lol and how can i be in both at the same time if they show on different channals? you need to sort something better out. lol
In case any or all of this group aren't available or refuse the oppurtunity, here is a list of alternatives.
1. ISeeZip. The toned-down version of the gay boy. He still provides the snarky commentary, and won't be quite so threatening to all those types in the Midwest who still live in the 1950's, and perceive black, gay men as doubly unnatural.
2. Libra Lady. Alternate dry-witted, truthful and often offensive character. Could double as either the feminist, or the general bitch role. If need-be, she could substitute for Black Bird.
3. Nefertiti. If we wanted a female nerd to mix/change things up, with eerily similar emotional triggers, this is the one. If our resident feminist/strong-willed woman is called off, this one could easily stand in for her, too.
4. Sweet Sensitivity. Alternate Christian, prudish, conservative one in a house full of raging liberals. Of course, unlike my last candidate, she also has the intellectual chops to back up her beliefs.
5. Cantsee3p0. He could fill either the whiny, entitled, self-important little Piss-ant role, or the I'm-so-desperate-for-a-girlfriend-that-I'll-fuck-anyone-even-the-presumed-lesbian type. Possible counterpart to Skittles Freak. He also wants to appear much more intelligent/compitent than he actually is, and is an easy shoo-in for a follower, which he also will deny. Resident weak, rebellious poseur, perhaps? Has possible bisexual tendencies, which could make things very steamy in the hottub.
6. Captain BlackBeard. Creepy, pervy old guy role. A very cynical type, he could always be stirring the pot of gossipy shit with some anger over an imagined insult, and, to the weaker members of the house, serve as a distortedly messed-up, but extremely charming, classy, and romantic leader to be admired and obeyed.; chivalrous, smooth-talking guy, crossing into man-whore territory, but he's oh so earnest about it that his self-delusion is funny. Contrast him with Shark, and the absence of sleaze is incredible.
7. West Factor. The little lost puppy of the group. Unless you get him talking, very shy, sensitive, sweet and geeky guy. The audience could speculate about his sexuality, while his behavior could demonstrate that one can be a Christian, while not being a judgemental little prick/goody-two-shoes and tattle tale. He's the guy everyone wants to protect, and half the girls have crushes on.
8. Louise. Every house needs a chick who can hold her alcohol, but still party as though it's the mid 1960's. And, with the accent and the hilariously eccentric Britishisms pouring out of her mouth by the second, who couldn't miss the chance to have her in this cast?
9. Resonant. Another chick who can hold her alcohol, and is equally at home discussing politics or the latest fashion. She's the resident floater, who also happens to have a wit that just wobbles crazily between dorkily clever and hysterically creative/brilliant. Her neutrality on social goings-on, read: gossip and so-forth make her an interesting counterpoint to the rest of these folks.
10. Alex. Who could leave out the exotic chick that most of the boys, and even some of the girls secretly or openly want to bed? Since she also has bisexual interests, more shudder-worthy nights in the hottub can be expected. She's not only dark-skinned, but deliberately mysterious, which makes her that much more appealing to everyone but the deliberately asexual. Another equally able to talk on most subjects, she could fill the seductress role, or the bitch role, or easily the geeky, bookish role.
Disclaimer: If any of this cast is too flagrant or uninteresting for the Real World monkeys, they can skip over to VH1's Surreal Life. Since at least half of either of these groups is musically talented, they'd fit right in. And their song would actually be listenable, too.
Yay I am not in any of these lists accept Jared's. Lol, or something.
Wait. A few more alternates from my ever-whirling mind. Can you tell I'm bored at work today?
1. Gypsy_girl. West Factor minus the innate geekiness, she's the usually shy, relatively innocent and good-hearted cast member. All of this changes, however, once you get her either drunk or talking. Unlike the others, she doesn't hold her alcohol well, and so ends up in the easy to bed role all too fittingly. Every house has to have a drunken party-girl.
2. In the absence of Belgian Don Quixote, Black Bird can swap in as the slyly horny old guy with a fancy for girls ten years his junior.
3. Since Alex will likely never show up for taping due to previously self-imposed committments or her own extremely changeable whim, star_jasmine will fill her shoes beautifully. Sharper and less tactful by miles, she's much more of a follower, and not half so intriguing. She also carries a ten-ton chip on her shoulder and drinks from a well of bitterness so deep that one wonders why she's not been drowned, so if Libra Lady is our strong, independent woman, star_jasmine is our resident bitch, complete with an entire set of vocal ticks to indicate disapproval, annoyance, brattiness, etc. with expressions to match.
Lol Julia, cute.
lol hahahah!
If I am in the list pippy, At least tell me why?
Other wise good job!
Killroy3.0 is here, Killroy 3.0 is everywhere!
Rather disturbing Julia. I wonder if people who have confided in you in the past had any idea you were psycho analyzing them and would turn what you know about them, or think you know about them, into a board post or two or three ridiculing them.
It had to happen. And as usual, poster 49 is right on point.
It's really a shame, it's quite clear you have intellegence Julia, now if you'd only do something with it.
to the Roman Battle Mask, fuck you! I'd rather die than be anywhere near guitargod1 and his mp3 recorder. Just cause you'd get plessure out of it, doesn't mean I would even lower myself to be on one of thoes things, (makes my blood boil). Plus, I never phone boned anyone, and I certainly do, not! want to be anywhere near Lutherk either. My dog has better flees than he would have. Cl dan, all I have to say to your list is lmfao! that's all.
hahahahah Wow Dan! I had no idea you posted such an awesome list. heehee I never looked at this cause I didn't much like the real world show but damn! hehehehe I think your list was accurate and perfect. It made me laugh the whole way through. I have to say, I've only had the pleasure of speaking to Pippi once and didn't notice the constant humming but will pay more attention next time. lol But you didn't include yourself in your condemning list! hehehe What's up with that. I skimmed through everyone else's lists but don't think anyone put you on theirs. lol I believe every cast needs a sexy and insensitive bastard to liven things up. lol Wasn't that the results we got for our survey? hehehehe
Michelle
I find this all very amusing. lol
Ha ha ha ha Julia all you've ever said to me is hi Hope how are you? You've got the Christian part about me right.
i find this very fucking stupid and just shows what a sad bunch of twats actually inhabbit this site? and, i've seen the true face of some people around here, mentioning cousin cap. pretending to like half these people then randemly slagging them off? jess is my friend, leave her the fuck, alone now. and john's my friend too. he's not, a pervert. never has been, nor never will be. leave neff out of it too. she's one of the coolest girls i've ever had the privelege to talk too. oh dear, how very stupid this topic is.
So much anger!
yeah really
i don't think this board topic was created to offend people really just relax a little
i think it's funny
my favourite is Wildebrew after all he has a good paying job, and the house needs someone to bay for all the boos, drugs, birth control, and std treatments since the rest
of them don't work.
lol
a plumber might come in handy. One who specializes in installing and maintaining systems used for potable (drinking) water, sewage, drainage, venting, ... ..
It's ok Kay. I'm not offended really. I don't find myself much on here anyway, lol. And I do have job prospects on the horizon, so taht keeps me busy too.